Morning!
No football last weekend 🥀
I started the week off brutally. Woke up on Monday with a sore throat and light congestion, which later turned to a fever. I had to walk in the Student Health Clinic looking super pale, lie to the receptionist's face about having symptoms of a cold and flu, so I could go to my optometry and knee appointment. The optometry appointment took longer than expected because they had to train me in wearing contacts, so I was forced to miss my discussion for the course I failed. Putting contacts on and taking them off is up there for the most annoying and irritating first-world problems. It took me over 40 minutes to get a lens on my left eye. I began thinking to myself to ditch the contact lenses and wear sport goggles when I play puck, but then I visualized how "unsty" that is, so I pushed through, and got them on. I will get use to it eventually, I just have to keep at it. For the knee, the doctor said to give it out about a week, ruled me out from all physical activity (no gym 🥲), and advised me not to play for the remainder of the season. It looks like the most frustrating hockey season has come to an end for me. This sucks, I am livid, but it is what it is.
That last sentence pretty much cared on throughout the whole week. Tuesday, I had to take my ECON midterm while sick. The exam was not too bad, but there were a few questions I kept second-guessing myself on. My TA for my Data Science course went over my quiz with me, and he told me essentially what I already knew, I made silly errors, and second-guessed myself. The lowest quiz score gets dropped so the TA told me if I dial in, I should be good. Before I wanted the next quiz to be the one that gets dropped because I would miss it as I would be in Spokane, but now that I can not go, I am able to take it. I must do good on the next quiz, something has to go right for me.
On Wednesday, I had my CAPS call and drop-in advising appointment with my college counselor. CAPS call did not really help much, they just booked me for an in-person appointment on the 10th of February. My counselor helped a bit in outlining the courses I need to take to fulfill my requirements for completing my degree on time. They advised me to drop a course and stick to 3, 12 units, ensuring I get back to good academic-standing. I was torn on doing dropping, but I decided to listen to my counselor. I dropped ECON, which I know sounds crazy, but this was a GTD (Game-Time-Decision) for me. Although I completely flunked my Data Science quiz, I really like the professor, enjoy the class, and am still pushing to pursue the minor. ECON is just a general education requirement that I can take at any time and anywhere. Dropping ultimately delays the process of getting it done, but in the grand scheme of things, I wholeheartedly believe my admission officer and future employer would not care to see I got an A in ECON on my transcript, or maybe I am just coping 😂.
Thursday was such a long day, spent the whole day at office hours after my one and only 9:30 AM class now 😂. My cortisol peaked that day. For starters, it took me over 40 minutes to get my contacts on. After that, I was on edge the whole day. I was so annoyed, I unintentionally took some of it out on the new office-hour attendees. They were looking at and asking questions if the problem was deep, even the TAs told me to take a break, but I channeled my inner Terence Fletcher, and stayed until I got the questions right. In my strongest opinion, the only way to go about succeeding in this class is just brute-force repetition. Although, I utterly despise this class, I am forcing myself to trick my brain into loving to solve these problems. I hate losing more than I like winning, so the work just has to be done.
Aside from academics, illness, and injury, I have been eating good. If there is a college master-chef competition, I am winning. Look at this meal right here:
Nobody can tell me that is not heat. Shout out Chef Air and Chef Mic, and Costco, they are the only reasons I am eating good in college. I use my suite mate's air fryer, it is not a PFA-free one, so if Santa Cruz crashed my res-hall, he would not approve. When I move into my 12-month apartment for next school year, best believe I will be getting a PFA-free air-fryer and stainless steel pans.
Quick Update: I also decided not to go through with the job for housing and dining. No $17.75 an hour for me. I am going to try my hardest to get a 4.0 GPA this quarter, so I can apply to be a TA. Starting pay at $24 an hour.
I will probably end the log here, I got a midterm tomorrow I need to study for, and a data science quiz on Friday. Things are ramping up, and I need to be prepared. I am not trying to repeat the same mistakes as last quarter. I took such a heel turn in my life when I got to UCSD, coming in super ambitious ready to be in-and-out with my degrees thinking I had my life planned out, but that first quarter is humbling. It is such irony, I am struggling and suffering in basically paradise, La Jolla Everyone's telling me I will be fine and ok, but I just brush it off. Deep down, I know it will all eventually workout, but I can not seem to accept that vision now. I am too paranoid about the future and fixated on the past, leaving me paralyzed by the present. This is something I need to overcome, and hopefully I make better decisions for myself going forward.
See you next week!