Good morning!
Good news: Officially cleared of my concussion and got my first goal! Bad news: I am back on the IR (Injured-reserve) and most likely out for the season.
I came down hard on my right knee with OSD (Osgood-Schlatter Disease) while I was crashing the net, my knee bone and the bump just rubbed up against each other, and I knew it was over for me. Nothing's broken just straight pain, and walking with a bit of a limp. I am not going to elaborate further into this.
Alright let's get into some football, National Championship over and Super Bowl matchup is set. Seahwaks vs. Patriots. Hopefully Seattle runs the ball with Walker at the 1-yard line this time. It sucks to see Seattle be the ones to play at Levi's in the Super Bowl, but really happy for Darnold. He overcame everything and believe-it-or-not got to a Super Bowl before Lamar and Allen. Stories like Sam are why I watch and love sports. This will definitely be an interesting Super Bowl, and I am excited to see if Drake "Drake Maye" Maye can reclaim the throne for New England.
Hoosier Daddy?
Mendoza inspirational, sucks that he is going to be a Las Vegas Raider. Nobody on that field wanted the natty more than him. What rubs me the wrong way is that the 2025 Indiana University and 2023 University of Michigan teams having perfect seasons does not sit right with me. None of those teams are not on the same level as 2019 Louisiana State University (LSU). To understand how dominant 2019 LSU was, just know Justin Jefferson was wide-receiver 2. That team was just special! Here are some clips to remind you of peak college football (Joe Brrrr Highlights) to start your week:
D Rose jersey retired, here are some clips 🥀:
The biggest what-if, his "Why can't I be MVP of the league" press conference keeps me going. I aspire to have moments or experiences like this:
This week definitely gave me the best preview to what the next 7-weeks are going to be. I was able to get all my assignments done on time, but I still felt like I was behind and procrastinating. The material is getting easier to understand, which is good, giving me a little confidence in my study strategies. Everything was going great until Saturday.
Friday, I had my first quiz for my data science class, and I tanked it: 12/20. When I got out of the quiz, I thought it went pretty well. I was in flow state during the quiz, and there was only like one or two questions that tripped me up, but I was proud of my performance there until I got the results back. I forgot to put a "." and " " as part of my answers, and that knocked my score way back. Everything was right, but those little idiosyncrasies costed me, coding is unforgiving. I got until Friday to drop, but I am going to talk to my professor first because I still like the course and considering minoring in data science.
Midterms start this week, I have one for ECON tomorrow, I was not too concerned about originally, but am now because how my data science quiz went, and one for the course I failed, which will definitely spike my cortisol, but I just got to get through it. Taking the course, a second time around has some benefits, this professor recycles his same slides, and I am able to help others and myself understand the concepts better. I went from being one of the most lost people in lecture to the guy who knows "ball."
Some other good news, I am still on track to graduate on-time despite failing a course and going abroad. Going to the walk-in appointment was an invaluable experience, my counselor was very helpful, understanding, and reassured me I was going to be alright despite the crash and burn of my first quarter. I thought I would have to take more courses, but the plan she gave me allows for 3 courses each quarter. Depending on whether-or-not, I want to pursue the BS/MS program (which I do), I would probably have to take more courses each quarter to boost my GPA up. I need a 3.5 GPA overall to be guaranteed admission in the program, and to achieve that I need a 3.84 GPA over 84 units. This is a huge mountain, but I am heading there to climb 🐧.
Lamentations 3:25 "The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;"
Moving on, I attended a career fair this week. Only a few companies were tabling, but there were many heads. I am not currently looking for an internship this summer since I am going abroad, but I just spoke with Epic (not Epic Games) and General Atomics to give them my name for future reference. Epic said if I got the job, I would need to relocate to Madison, Wisconsin, and I was like I am out. Told the recruiter, "Go Bears!" I had a funny conversation with the General Atomics' recruiter because I did not know General Atomics works with the military too. I thought General Atomics did nuclear research because I toured their nuclear fusion facility while I was at a high school summer program. The recruiter did not even know about the nuclear research division, the recruiter only knew the military division of the company. The recruiter told me they are a machine learning engineer and their work is to train the drones to make more "intelligent decisions." When I asked what those "intelligent decisions" were, they gave me that look, and I laughed, and almost blurted out to "kill people."
I spent MLK day out in Coronado, which was a blast and a Christ-like experience. Before I get sidetracked, I want to shout out Zach, I am still puzzled on how we randomly ran into each other, either part of MLK's dream or God's timing. While I was looking at the sunset and admiring all the scenery, I thought about how the same God who made these beautiful landscapes thought to include you and me too. It brought me back to this verse:
Psalm 8:3-4 “When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—the moon and the stars you set in place— what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them?”
On my Fernando Mendoza mindset, I want to give all glory to God for blessing me with the privilege to live and study in San Diego. I am grateful for everything and everyone here. I did not go where I wanted to go, but went to where I was meant to go physically, mentally, and spiritually.
It's funny how life and your mood can change in a matter of a few days. I wrote the majority of this log before I got injured and my quiz result back. I am seriously questioning myself, my ability, and purpose. After such a good week of getting small wins, studying hard, actually understanding the concepts, finally scoring, I thought I beat the last quarter version of me and could finally beat myself. Just when I think I have a little something going, I get thrown back to square one. The frustration is insufferable, and I am livid. Failing over and over again is exhausting, but quoting Kobe Bryant, "there are far greater issues in the world" especially in this country than me feeling sorry for myself and my mental health problems.
All this happened for a reason, and I will figure it out with some help. I am checking in for a mental health evaluation this week, and hopefully I can better understand myself and learn to finally be better. A few years ago me and my subconscious self would or are laughing at myself for doing such a foolish thing, but I am getting desperate and my tuition includes this service so why not use it. God is calling me to collect the charges on myself, and I have to accept. In due time, I know this will all pass, and it will all work out!
See you next week!